Leftengnat Blip Von Bonzo’s Infrastructure Plan Survey

 The artist formerly known as Xyphoid Process learned of a Von Bonzo report unreleased to the public and released it for publication…

   Leftengnat Edgerton Von Bonzo said recently that some progress has been made on advancing his wind egg infrastructure bill through congress. Specifically, the goose egg gambit was referred to the special secret sauce committee for a party-line vote of approval as a rider on the Human Prison Infrastructure bill that has space for numerous Eleatic amendments.

 Wind egg human infrastructure investments economically and efficiently advance nothing physical and are confirmed to have no immediate harmful environmental consequences, beside being less filling, tasting great, sugar gluten free.

 Rotting, decaying national physical infrastructure can be addressed in a separate, smaller bill that will enable roads and bridges for the upgraded Model T fleet to remain internationally competitive for the remainder of the century when another, physical infrastructure bill will be required to keep America great.

 A perpetual revolution sending waves of human infrastructure bills, animal infrastructure bills added to the environmental protection agency, alien infrastructure bills needed to make illegal alien in-migration great again and to fast track illegal aliens to citizen status skipping over the cruel and unusual racist, xenophobic bigotry of requirements for legal resident status before the freeway to citizenship occurs, wealth infrastructure bills, abstract infrastructure bills for making higher education great again, human and government infrastructure revolution bills to the people directly with full support from the High Court of Human Infrastructure.

 It was recently discovered in select, elite infrastructures of haute education that infrastructure is actually a suffix, and if attached to any sort of (variable) object confers to it the concept of being real, solid and with gravity.

 Experiments with infrastructure as a suffix confirmed the finding that wind eggs if given the preposition of infrastructure can receive support from fifty-one percent majority of people responding to a survey question about the acceptability of congressional infrastructure wind eggs in the poll.

 Leftengnat Bonzo said that infrastructure for research infrastructure was lacking in higher educational nink tanks and would benefit from a plast, emergency infusion of cash. Fully stocked refrigerators for trink tanks scheduled to be built in high rise condominium units in Jupiter Florida in 2024 could proceed if Republicans would just get out of the way, he said.

 The Leftengnat confided there have been hints of a discovery that infrastructure may work as a prefix in an adverbial sort of way; not only in the shadows a hidden universe, to briefly parse the notion, for sometimes a great infrastructure, tides rolling in, ships rising in the harbor, just to watch them roll away again evolves an infrastructure of poetic infrastructure even Wall Street can happily view as a good investment.

 Leftengnat Bonzo said the outrageous and crass suggestion that the Congress should hire a cluster of thirty brilliant engineers, ecological economists and scientists to produce the best possible ideas they can of what they would spend 3.5 trillion dollars on to modernize and upgrade the nation’s physical infrastructure is inappropriate and plain dumb like the stupid scientists and engineers.

 Infrastructure, said the Leftengnat, is not supposed to make the nation a faster, better, cheaper and more ecologically efficient place to manufacture goods or services that bring a competitive edge over the world. Conceding business would find the U.S. a better place to produce in spite of the higher cost of labor, foreign entities would just try to just try to emulate the infrastructure like trans-continental hyper loops and super-conducting lines inside underground liquid hydrogen carrying pipelines spake the Leftengnat. Building things foreign nations would catch up to in a few decades, the Leftengnat said, is obsolete, regressive, reactionary and replete with infrastructure of stupidity that probably would make everyone, everywhere, miserable.

 The Leftengnat ended the interview saying that it’s bedtime for Bonzo.